What If Johnny Was A Girl?
by Psycho DoughGirl
Summary: A story done late at night,about Johnny being a girl.Read it,gimme reviews.I need to know if I need to write more or not...and yes,I know I`m horrible at summaries.Gah..
1. Chapter 1 IM GONNA KILL YOUUU!

Disclaimer: Bleh. I do not own JtHM, nor am I Jhonen. I AM MEEEE DAMN YOU! Um.Heh.Sorry. [Oh, yes, and also,the stupid plot of this story is what if Johnny was a girl. I`m writing this at midnight,so please forgive me for the idiotic plot. I`m doing this to keep you people happy.Eh..]  
  
This is some random, horny idiot who thinks women are whores. "Hey Morticicia, you wanna come screw me,eh?"  
  
Jon evilly smirked. "Why don`t you come to my house?"  
  
"Alright, I got a babe!" Jon went over and hoped in this strangers car, hearing her heavy boots hit the car floor. "Hey hey now, this is a nice car, don`t step on it so hard!" And of course, it was a little ugly-ass blue car. Lovely, how this man had his fantasies. "Just hurry up and get the fuck to my house.Its over that way." As she continued to direct him to her house, she was contemplating on how to kill him. The wall Needed a new coat of blood. It hadn`t been painted in weeks, and she could hear it getting pissed. The wall monster had come back again,even after her trip to heaven and hell,where they said she Probably wouldn`t ever be a waste lock again. Bullshit. She was feeding the damn wall monster again, This time without the Doughboys. Just a Bubs Burger Boy constantly yelling to feel things again. Again and again and again. "Oh, and by the way, my name isn`t Morticia. Don`t judge me by my appearance If you want sex from me." She paused for a second,hearing herself say the word "sex". Still a virgin.. "My names Jon,and your going to die tonight." "WHA--?!" She smirked and out of nowhere pulled out a rag with chlorofoam all over it. The egotisitcal asshole instantly passed out. She threw him in the back and grabbed the wheel before crashing into a light pole,and finally pulled up to her house.  
  
[People, reviews. I don`t like this story to much.so tell me what you think. I could delete it, and I could also add another chapter. GIMME SOME FRIGGIN IDEAS,PEOPLE.] 


	2. Chapter 2 Feeding The Wall Again?

Disclaimer: I do not own JtHM, and nor am I Jhonnen Vasquez.  
  
[Okie doke , so I got my reviews today. I`ll change her name to Janey .. and also, I will explain everything from the first comic to the last, so people don`t get to confused. ^^ There! Took both of the peoples advice.]  
+Chapter 2..+ [Janey`s Point Of View..]  
  
As I carried in the mans unconcious body, I thought of old memories.. How I most likely ruined Squee`s mind. I shouldn`tve exactly tore up the bear, Either. I went into the basement, strapping the man into one of my many Torture devices. [Oh, out of the story for a second here, sorry about the random caps, But that's just how my writing program works..] I thought of the murder survey that man Went around doing, to. Throwing the poor man out the window .. well, I didn`t want To hear about vampirism murder. I just don`t do that kind of thing. And the word wacky. Hated that word,to. It was those people in the Taco Smell`s fault I killed them. And that suicide Attempt.. Nailbunny convincing me not to do it. Should`ve anyways.. But then, I don`t exactly want to go back to Heaven or Hell. Nailbunny had disappeared, to. Where The fuck did he go,anyways? Think of all those people I killed. even that perfectly Nice man. Well, I had to. I did NOT want to see what was behind the wall. Did I ever see it? Naw, I think I was dead then, wasn`t I? Or was it all some weird dream? Hmm.  
  
[Out of Janey`s POV.]  
  
Just as she sat down on the couch, she heard the man she drove home screaming something She didn`t understand. Damn it, had to wake up now, didn`t he? "You bitch! What the fuck is wrong With you?! We were supposed to fuck, you can`t do this!!" She stood up and walked downstairs To where he was,and slapped him,hard. "Shut the fuck up. What do you think I am, Some cheap 2 dollar whore that`ll fuck any man that has a piece of shit car? Wrong, idiot!" She hit Him again. He winced in pain. "You bitch! All women screw me!I`m a fucking jock!!" She Started laughing insanely. "Oh,wow!A JOCK! I`m not amazed." She smiled. "Well, since your so confident about Yourself.." The smile suddenly turned evil. "Lets see if you can get yourself out of this little predicament."  
  
She pulled out a knife. His eyes widened. "NO! YOU CAN`T KILL M-" To late, she slashed His neck. His head drooped down. She got an empty paint bucket and let the blood drop into it.  
  
[^^ End of chapter. Reviews, tell me if I need to write more .. also doing this one late.Oh,and I got lazy and didn`t explain all the comics. If you haven`t got all the info on the comics, GO OUT AND BUY THEM AND QUIT BEING A LAZY PIECE OF SHIT. e.x; Heh. I happened to get lucky and got the Director`s Cut first.] 


	3. Chapter 3 Mmm,FizWiz

Disclaimer: Once again, I do not own JtHM nor am I Jhonen Vasquez.  
  
[Once again, good reviews. ^^ So I shall do a chapter 3! And I`ll even try to make this chapter a little longer..]  
  
+Chapter 3+  
  
She had just finished painting the wall with the Jock` s blood. "There you fucking wall, your still frickin stuck in there!" She laughed. Suddenly seeming sad, she walked upstairs, where she could hear the TV. She sat on the couch, sad, but not quite suicidal. Strange . Well, what to do now? She picked up the remote which had been lying on the floor and channel surfed for a while till she found the news. Anything about the Jock yet? Didn` t seem so. A lot more stuff about the other people that were "missing" for weeks. She suddenly realized she still had her knife in her other hand. She threw it perfectly straight into the wall with a loud "THUD!" , then turned her face back to the TV.  
  
[Janey`s POV.]  
  
" Hmm .. I think I want a Cherry Fiz - Wiz. " I walked out the door and hopped into the Jock`s car, turning it on. [xD Doing this story to a funny Limp Bizkit remix. XDDD] Drove down to the 24/7, got out and locked the doors ,dropping the keys into my pocket. As I walked towards the doors, I noticed two men checking out my ass. Suddenly grinning. "Hey boys, you want something?" They guffawed like the idiots they were. "Yeah, baby, we want you." Suddenly I did a spin kick on the one that spoke, and punched the other one so hard that he fell. Both of them fell simultaneously, actually. I started laughing in their face. "Got me now, don`t you! HAHAHA!" I kicked them out of the way, and went inside, ignoring the look on the counter-mans face, and got the Cherry Fiz-Wiz, dropping the money on the counter and leaving.  
  
[Out of Janey`s POV.]  
  
She hopped in the car and drove off, drinking her Cherry Fiz-Wiz. She got home, finally, and walked inside.  
  
[Squee`s POV. You just know this is going to be fucked up, don`t you? XD]  
  
I heard screaming noises and insane laughing. It was that crazy girl next door. It was late, so I was trying to sleep. Couldn`t do it this way.. I waited until the screaming ceased and finally fell asleep, holding Shmee, only to nightmares.  
  
[End of chapter. Tried to make it a little longer.. reviews ! ^^] 


	4. Chapter 4 Shitty Song,Bitchy BBB

Ahhh .there we go. Nice Marilyn Manson music to concentrate. XD Dope Show. Muaha ..  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own JtHM. And I have a voice named Kuroneko. XDD  
  
[ Reviews: Thank you Omelletes for reviewing! Seems people lost interest in my story after the third chapter. / Well fine then. Atleast someone is sticking with me. ^^ ]  
  
+Chapter 4+  
  
[ Janey's POV. ]  
  
I was sitting on the couch with my Cherry Fiz-Wiz watching TV. The wall was painted with blood, there were no more victims left. So I was bored. [Sorry if this chapter is shitty, I got writers block here. e.x;] God, this was the only thing I`d had all day. No food or anything. Reverend Meaty must be really pissed off by now.. He was shouting something but I just turned it on a music channel and turned it up until I couldn`t hear that little bitch of a Bub's Burger Boy.  
  
[Out Of Janey's POV.]  
  
Agh, Good God, there was even a shitty song on. She changed the channel. Strange. Reverend Meaty had actually shut up. No..wait. There he went again. "SHUT THE FUCK UP ALREADY!!" He did. Thank God..  
[This is all I`m writing for now.Might write more..but right now I`ve got a really badass case of Writer`s Block.. OH! HEY! And I`ll bribe people with a hundred bucks for reviews. Here you go,Omellettes. XD NOW OFF TO THE PSYCHIATRIST WE GO..] 


	5. Chapter 5 BoredA Call?

Disclaimer: I do not own JtHM.  
  
[Side Note: Funny, how I bribed people with money and they gave reviews. Heh.Well, I`ll do it again! But this time, I `m going to give hand outs at the end of the story.. I`m considering starting up a new story. Ah..okie, Slipknot on, here we go..]  
  
[Janey's POV.]  
  
I was listening to music so as not to hear Reverend Meaty. what to do now?.. Well, lets see. No sleep. No dreams to go to. No people to torture. Hungry? No, I didn`t want any Food. Well,fuck it. I started to draw another Happy Noodle Boy comic. So easy to draw him.. After all,he was only an insane stick figure.  
  
[Out Of Janey's POV.]  
  
So she sat there, drawing Happy Noodle Boy, when suddenly the phone rang. "What the fuck? Nobody Ever calls me.." She picked up the phone. "Hello?" Silence. "HELLO?" Silent, but she could hear this person Breathing. "I CAN HEAR YOU BREATHING YOU FUCK SO SAY SOMETHING!" She heard children's laughter in the background. Her eyes turned to slits. "Stupid children, I don`t need your pranks. KNOCK IT OFF BEFORE I BECOME YOUR NEXT DAMN STALKER!" She hung up the phone. It was Friday, the day of days for sleepovers .. Eh. So..bored.  
  
[Once again,doing this late and etc., and more writers block. NOW TO THE MONEH.]  
  
[Omellettes-Here you go, another hundred dollars for reviewing. Trinitha Scolex- Here ya go. NNY777Slavelabor--- Heres your hundred bucks.. Saje Of The Extreme-Heres your moneh, and sorry if I stole your idea.. That's all,folks!] 


	6. Chapter 6 How Far Down Does The Rabbit ...

Disclaimer: I do not own JtHM.  
  
[ --; Good God, it seems like only Omelletes is giving me reviews now. Ah , oh well. Thank you, and its American money. I live in Las Vegas. XD Anyways  
, thank you Omellettes. Do you have an AOL screen name?  
Okay.. anyways, on with the story!]  
  
Hmm. What could she do? She got the remote and channel surfed until  
something interesting was on. She started cracking up at the twisted humor of the movie, and she grabbed some Pringles and ate them.[Or whatever the fuck they call those things in Johnny's world, not quite sure.] A knock at the door? Nope, just the TV.. God, she wished she had some friends to talk to. But, no, of course not.  
Nobody really liked her. that is one of the reasons she killed,anyways, next to not wanting the Wall Monster to come out again. Hm. Eh, why not? She got up and went into her REALLY messy and fucked up room [heh, sounds like my room..] and got on some different clothes, grabbed her CD player, jammed a CD into it and pressed play. This would make Reverend Meaty happy, but she didn`t really give a flying fuckball. Ignoring his shouts, she went out the door and hopped into her car.. she should really melt that Jock`s car down to scrap metal or something. She drove off and into the World of  
The Asses.  
  
[There! A PARAGRAPH. -Audience gasps.- o_O Where the fuck did you come  
from? Anyway,thank you  
again, Omellettes, for reviewing.] 


	7. Chapter 7 Ahh,world of thee asses

Disclaimer: I don`t own Johnny The Homicidal Maniac.  
  
[ Okie dokie, sorry about not writing this sooner. I`ve been very busy, and therefor very lazy. This is going to be probably very short..]  
  
She plugged the personal CD player into the car radio and blared the music, ignoring the shouts from ignortant men on either side of her. Though the doors were locked, just in case.. red light.She stopped just in time, as a car raced past her. "You almost ran me over,asshole!!" But nobody could hear her anyways on account of the music. A few more miles. alright. She stopped at the dance club, parking her car and turning it off.  
  
[That's it. REALLY short, but atleast I typed something. Like I said, I`m really sick. When I get better I`ll write more.. until then,reviews!] 


	8. Chapter 8 How WACKY!

Disclaimer: I don`t own JtHM.  
  
[Okay! I`m not sick anymore! YAY! I think I`ll write two more chapters.. last night about 3 am I got an idea for an ending. A really shitty one, but I want to experiment and try to type up this Trigun fic I have written somewhere,and then some other anime-based fic.anyways: on with the story!]  
  
[Janey`s POV]  
  
I grabbed my backpack and got out of the car. The doors locked automaticly behind me. I walked inside the club, and sat down at the bar.. waiting for  
some guy to come up to me and flirt. I`d bring a couple home and kill  
them..or I`d just kill the whole club, if someone fucked with me. [Not  
literally.]  
  
[Out of Janey`s POV.]  
  
She sensed that people were staring at her and talking.. but she patiently waited until someone got the balls to walk up to her and comment. Something like the Taco Smell murder, no? She ordered a soda and watched the people point and whisper something. Assholes .. A girl finally walked up to her.  
"You are such a fucking dork, Morticia." Janey smirked evilly. A terrified look came onto the girl`s face. Suddenly laughing, she said: "Hey,Miss Stuck Up Bitch,my name isn`t Morticia." The whole club was laughing at her. She reached into her backpack and pulled  
out a knife. Everyone suddenly screamed and ran off like insects.She  
severed the girls head off and then jumped up to kill everyone else  
harshly.  
  
[Outside.]  
  
Blood spattered onto the windows. [Hehe.Excessive violence.I am a morbid  
person,so if you have a weak stumach,go vomit now. XD]  
  
[Janey`s POV.]  
  
I was smiling still,insanely,like those psychos on TV. I heard sirens.. I stuffed the knives into my backpack and ran out the backdoor,just as all  
the cops came into the dance club.I hopped into the car and drove off.  
Nobody seemed to see the girl covered in gore and blood,driving like a  
maniac.  
  
[Out Of Janey`s POV.]  
  
She finally slowed down and parked in her driveway.She got out of the car,locked it,and brought in the backpack and CD player. She went into the bathroom,got some towels,and drained the remaining blood out of the tub. She turned the knob. Water splashed out of the showerhead. She undressed and got into the shower. [Now,I`m not sure if Johnny takes showers.But how  
else would he get clean with all those blood stains?]  
  
-End.or is it?-  
  
[Okie dokie. I`ve still got one chapter left in me,so give me good reviews and I shall type it.And sorry for the excess,seemingly pointless blood & gore.I had nightmares last night,and they were very gorey.SO THIS IS WHAT  
YA GET. XD Um. Anyway.Reviews!] 


	9. Chapter 9 And so it all ends

Disclaimer: I don`t own JtHM. How many fucking times do I have to say this??  
  
[Okie dokie. This is.. the final chapter. If you`d like to append to it, speak to me about it and I might let you. :/]  
  
[Janey's POV.] I got out of the shower and dried off. Wrapping a towel around myself, I went into my extremely fucked up room and looked for clean clothes in the closet. The mirror door was broken, of course. Just a plain striped shirt with the infamous Z? in the middle, and some ripped up cargo pants, then boots. That`d work. I got dressed. [Oh, side note here: she put a curtain up over the broken window so no pervs could see inside. Okie? That's how my mind works.]  
  
[Out of Janey's POV.]  
  
She went into the bathroom again, grabbed the gore-covered clothes and  
threw them in the laundry room. [Does he have a laundry room? I don`t fucking know. ] She`d deal with them later. She sat down on the couch, seemingly sad. Why did she do all of this? Sometimes, she wished the Wall  
Monster didn`t exist. But even then.. had she been insane all her life? Yes. She did some ghastly shit when she was young. She got back up off the couch and went into one of the rooms, searching for the gun. She wanted out of this again, even if it meant living in Hell for eternity. Hell didn`t  
seem that bad..  
  
[Janey's POV.]  
  
"Where the fuck is it!" I shouted out of frustration. I finally found it in  
the closet under a ton of crap.. Checked the ammo. Nothing. "Fuck.." I  
threw all the other shit across the room, throwing a few butcher knives into the wall in the process. Ah! A box of bullets. Perfect. I stood up straight, and opened the box, taking out a single bullet. I loaded it into  
the gun.  
  
[Out of Janey's POV.]  
  
She put the gun into her mouth. She didn`t want to die slowly like last time. She wanted to die fast and get it over with. Her hands shook. BANG. Blood spattered against the wall behind her. THUD. She fell on the ground,  
dead.  
  
-The End!-  
  
[I warned ya`ll that the ending idea was shitty. But I couldn`t think of anything else. I don`t like leaving stories at cliffhangers, because I know it frustrates people A LOT. But anyway, that's the ending. I am coming up  
with a few more fics though..they probably won`t be quite as violent as  
this,though.Please excuse the pointless gore and violence.. Anyway!  
Reviews. Just for the fuck of it,please??] 


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